The Aussie Boomers are down to 18 players, with 12 to be selected for the Olympic team. And it’s scaring us that Luke Kendall is still in the squad…

Look at the photo - even his team mates are embarrassed about being on the bench with the Ken-Doll. They hide under towels when he’s around!

We don’t just call him Ken-Doll for his frat boy blue eyes and becuse it’s eerily similarity to his actual name. He’s a Ken-Doll because there’s nothing but a strange hump where his balls should be and his head is devoid of grey matter and goes all squishy under pressure.

How can this guy still be in the Boomers squad Goorj?! You’ve cut at least three guys who would be better 3rd string ball-handlers in Darnell, Gibbo and Damo Ryan. And Damo is a beer by blood too! (although we would have cut you too sorry Damo, you play too much like us - jack it up baby!)

So of the 18 left who would the Beers cut?

• Ken-Doll - obviously
• Wade ‘Vanilla Thunder’ Helliwell - we can’t believe he made it onto the plane to Perth he’s so slow…
• Rusty Hinder - shouldn’t be there to start with. Cheap shots don’t belong at the Olympics.
• James Harvey - no defense and crappy tattoos
• AJ Ogilvy - next time for sure, when you’re a man not a boy.
• Battered Sav - we’ve got young guys that do your thing sorry Mr Saville. Plus you went to the Kings!

So that leaves Bogut, Anstey, Andersen, Jawai, Nielsen, Worthington, Redhage, Barlow, Jingles, Newley, Mills, Bruton. A little short on guards maybe, but Goorj cut the guys we’d prefer to have on the bench in Mee and Gibbo in case of CJ and Mills getting injured or in foul trouble.

Wortho should consider himself damn lucky to make the Beers Boomers list. He’s only there because he is perhaps the only Aussie cocksure enough to think he can hit every off balance shot he takes and somehow  win a medal. We need that to rub off onto some of the others. Plus we’re hoping he wears a beard - you need at least one bearded big man on every team - it works for the Euros!

Now what we have listed here and what we think Goorjian will do are two totally different things. We’re scared he won’t pick Jawai. That kid should be a no-brainer. He’s Australia’s most athletic big guy ever and is only going to keep getting better. Give him some experience now please Goorj and don’t pick the kid or one of your other stiffs like Hinder.

And he will of course take his little choir boy Ken-Doll. The NBL’s only point guard who can’t dribble or pass. He can whinge, whine and flop though. That worked for Manu Ginobili and Argentina in Athens, so maybe Goorj is onto something there…