The first round of the 2015 BFNBA playoffs finished with all matches going to the top seed.
The final four sees Metta World Piss travelling to Plow Orleans, and Boom Dizzle’s Dubs hitting the Pain Center.
Plow Orleans are struggling with four players showing the dreaded red O next to their name, and home court advantage may not be enough for the win. MWP has taken an early lead in six categories.
The other matchup looks like it will go down to the wire, with the defending champion Pain Killers slightly down 3-5-1 at the time of writing. Bookmakers have the eventual winner of this match as favourites to take out the 2015 Kruysmulder Cup.
It’s unlucky for the Thunder & Rhinos, but after winning their first match they now face off in a fight to avoid the Wiggy Bowl. Nobody has ever said that the Wiggy formula is fair, but either the Mo’s or Lakers will be thanking the heavens when they earn a reprieve this week. Can Smoke Angeles ensure the league record Moustache dive continues all the way to the bottom of the bowl?
If this was a real basketball league, we’d all be resting our stars because the playoff matchups are already set in stone. Technically, The DGF All Stars and Dallas Rhinos could win and tie with the team above them, but both are 0-2 in those head to head matchups – therefore the seedings still wouldn’t change.
So Pig not only trotted down the aisle, but into the BFNBA playoffs with a 6-1-2 win over his big bro in week 19. And it was thanks to waiver wire pickup, The Manimal, Ken Faried, who got Harlem over the line with points, blocks, FG% and FT%. Our first waiver pickup to weekly MVP player! Unlucky Rhinos, you fought hard and are definitely the best rookie to ever play in the league after finishing with 9-7 run.
Now, this week’s games don’t really mean anything… The Rhinos, Moustaches, Thunder and Lakers will be playing off for the Wiggy Bowl. Hopefully the disgrace of Wiggy Bowl ineptness won’t scare another GM into giving up his franchise, like it did with the Smoke Bombs last season. So you know and can prepare, the Wiggy Bowl is designated as GmC6 on the playoff schedule – so avoid losing your 2nd playoff matchup at all costs. (because of the number of teams, the first consolation round is like a warm-up match)
In round one of the Kruysmulder Cup finals, Metta World Piss and The Don’t Get Fired All Stars will be facing off at the Bowl. MWP has a 2-0 lead in the season series, so with the home advantage they are favourites to take this one out and go onto Plow Orleans in round two.
In the other matchup, the Harlem Trotters travel to Boom Dizzle Bay to try and keep their league-longest streak alive. Based on week 19 results, the Hogs would have won 6-3, so it is a much tougher matchup to predict. Whoever wins is going to feel the Pain in round 2 anyway.
May the Beer be with you,
Your loving Commish
Like a resurgent Ali, the Killers proved why they are the reigning champs with a sound thrashing of Plow Orleans in week 18. Even masked triple double marvel, Rusty Westbrook, couldn’t hold them off. It was a good all round effort too, with no real MVP but big Al leading them in points and rebounds. Pain Stadium is going to be a tough venue to visit come playoff time.
In other games, the Rhinos & Harlem both had wins to remain tied for the final playoff spot with the latter becoming the league’s hottest team with three wins on the Trot! But the league’s longest streak is still Mate’s Moustaches after going down for the ninth week in a row in Smoke Angeles. His wife must be a happy lady…
This week will be an epic wedding weekend fight to the death between the streaking Trotters and the Dallas Rhinos. At this early stage, the Trotters seem to have the upper hand in Dallas, but you never know what sort of dirty tricks will surface in a brother v brother matchup. There are no rules, especially with the playoffs on the line!
Have a good week. Sorry again that this is late. #fuckingwork
Sorry for the late update. I’m spending Tuesdays back in ‘vegas working, and forgot all about BFNBA.
But week 17 was a cracker. Steph Curry saved Boom Dizzle’s bacon with his 5th three point make, which tied that category and won the Dubs the points category too, by a single shot. Although the matchup was tied on the scoreboard, the Dubs won via homecourt advantage and still have a chance of grabbing a first round playoff bye.
The Trotters also clawed their way back to equal sixth spot with a 6-3 win over Smoke Angeles. The Nicholson brothers will both be desperate for a win this week, so the playoff seeding is on the line when they face each other again in a wedding weekend fight to the death. Yes the Pig is getting married. Da da da dahhh, here comes the Swine!
The Piss are also just outside of the top spots, knocking on Boom Dizzle and the Killers door.
This week, there’s a top of the table clash between the Killers & Plow Orleans at the Pelican Pit. Pain has taking an early lead, but hopefully Rusty Westbrook can get something done despite his dented face, and give Boom Dizzle’s resurgent charge a chance of going all the way to 2nd spot.
Everyone pour one out this weekend for Mate’s Moustaches, who are aiming for their ninth consecutive loss.
Russell Westbrook has been going nuts. He topped the player rater for week 16, and won the All Star Game MVP too. He’s ignited debate as to whether he is the Thunder’s best player over reigning NBA MVP Kevin Durant. Since KG & Kobe’s wheels fell off, nobody has brought Rusty level intensity to the league. These days you usually only see his sort of venom in the playoffs, in a contract year.
So it was no surprise that he led his BFNBA ‘Cans to a streak ending win over Boom Dizzle’s Dubs 7-2, to keep the top spot. But the week’s biggest surprise was Smoke Angeles coming alive to upset the Piss. Eric Gordon hit six 3s against Miami to seal the victory and had Danny the Metta World mascot pissing out the window.
The DGF All Stars, Trotters and Killers also had wins, with Pain now owning the league’s longest winning streak of seven games.
With just four rounds remaining, the Killers head to Boom Dizzle Bay this week to face the Dubs in a 2nd v 3rd matchup that could be a preview of the semi-finals. And on current standings, the All Stars v Piss game would be a preview of their first round playoff series too.
Enjoy the last week of this wet, windy summer.
Murphy’s law deems that it had to happen. The NBA tries to do away with the center position, and centers suddenly dominate the league. The waiver wire has Noel, Hawes, Lopez & Henson just itching to get a gig. The top draft prospect is scoring center Jahil Okafor out of Duke. The All Star game is going to feature seven centers! Why can’t there be an explosion of shooting guards that can actually shoot?
Week 15 in the BFNBA was pretty boring. All games went to seed, none were close and the ladder stayed the same. With 5 weeks of the regular season left, the Mos and Trotters need to have a god run home to catch the Rhinos for the last playoff spot, otherwise they may be Wiggy Bowl bound.
The MVP for the week was Rusty Westbrook, who had a ridiculous week for the ‘Can’s as he tried to make sure his real NBA team has a chance of catching Phoenix and scraping into the playoffs. He’s going nuts and is sure to hurt himself again soon and join the Durantula on the broken list.
Boom Dizzle v the Pelicans should be a good matchup this week. There’s a chance the Dubs can catch the Killers and earn a first round playoff bye, but it’s slim.
Amazingly, this has been the first commish’s update compiled at the pub. How has that never happened before? Have a good week GMs.
In week 14 the Pain Killers showed the league that they are ready to defend their tile. The Piss dribbled into the Pain Center and won every percentage based category, as well as blocks thanks to DeAndre Jordan. But it wasn’t even close in the others, as Kyrie and his Killers waltzed to a 5-4 victory and a tight grip on 2nd place.
The Rhinos placed their claim for the last playoff spot with a 7-1-1 victory over the Thunder. But all the other matchups were kind of boring. Although Smoke Angeles did get close to upsetting the Don’t Get Fired All Stars, missing out by a single steal… Has Smokey logged in and set his lineup?!
Week 15 doesn’t have much in the way of good matchups, but Dubs vs Moustaches is a grudge match of sorts. Steph v Melo. Cowboys v Broncos. Burko v Snoop. Surely they can fire up and start insulting each other to make our work week fly past more quickly.
Last week produced a cheek clencher for fans at the Meta World Bowl as the visiting Boom Dizzle squeezed out a one category win on the Piss’ home floor. The win cemented #4 on the ladder for the Dubs and broke the second place stalemate.
James Harden led the DGFAS to a win over the Thunder and took out the weekly MVP honour by finishing #1 on the BFNBA player rater. The featured pic was taken just after Steve Kerr told Harden that even though Kobe Bryant is out injured, he still won’t be starting at the NBA All Star Game in New York. The guy that Kerr coaches just hit nine 3s and 37 points in a quarter beardy one, so you shouldn’t be too surprised.
In other matches, the Trotters stayed in the playoff truffle hunt by taking out the Moustaches. It looks like there will be a three way race for the final playoff spot, with the Hogs, Mos & Rhinos all tied with a 5-8 record.
This week’s matchup of the round will be the Piss travelling to the Pain Center to fight for second place.
It will be Metta World’s second tough matchup in a row and they’ll be looking for some payback after the Killers won the first game back in week 5.
The Trotters and the Dubs also match up well, and the Harlem GM may have some birthday good luck on his side.
Lastly here’s a shoutout to Herman and everyone else that is still sore from playing on Saturday. It looks like half court games will ease us into old age nicely. This is the first time I’ve been able to walk post Australia Day for many years!
The Killers, Piss, ‘Cans, Dubs & Thunder all had wins last week, with the favourites winning every matchup.
But it was a VERY close call at DGF Stadium, with the road team winning the free throw category by the slimmest margin possible – a single made free throw. Just one more miss would have seen the All Stars escape with a much needed home victory. It’s for that reason that Gorgui Dieng is our unlikely player of the week for shooting a perfect 10/10 from the stripe and securing the Killers’ win.
The tough loss put DGF in danger of falling out of the playoffs with a 6-6 record, followed closely by the Moustaches, Rhinos & Trotters. There’s going to be quite a tussle between those four clubs for the final two playoff spots in the run home.
This weeks best matchups will be the Dubs at the Metta World Bowl, and The Moustaches at the Pig Pen. Both will be trying to stake their claim for a better playoff seed whilst the Trotters fight for their BFNBA bacon.
The weather is looking a little dodgy in the lead up to Australia Day, but we will head down to the Byron Bay indoor courts if the playground is too wet or windy.
Have a good week.
The NBA All Star weekend is broken. I’ve been a fan of the league since the 80s, but can’t be bothered watching the hype filled, but empty & meaningless weekend of festivities anymore. The best players don’t always compete, every team isn’t represented and what should be a supreme showcase for the fans is more of a boring sideshow.
Why hasn’t Lebron James ever been in the dunk comp?
Here’s how you fix All Star Weekend Adam Silver – by making it matter.
The league has been experiencing a problem of Western Conference dominance for some time now. It could be argued that the East isn’t even capable of producing 12 All Star caliber players this season. It will be grossly unfair if negative record teams like the Cleveland Cavaliers and Miami Heat produce multiple All Stars, as is bound to happen. And it is still very possible for a team like the Atlanta Hawks to go all the way to the NBA finals with home court advantage after playing against sub-standard Eastern opposition for 52 games of the schedule. It’s very doubtful that the ’13 Heat would have beaten the Spurs in 7 games without that advantage…
So why not make the All Star weekend decide which conference has home court in the finals? Isn’t it the perfect way to bring some meaning to the event and make it more of a showcase of the league’s best talent?
I’m not just talking about the All Star Game, as the whole weekend should be given a competitive facelift. And every team* should be represented equally. But firstly, we do need to fix the main event. *Keep reading below for how we slightly limit the participation of the worst performing teams each season.
One surprisingly simple solution would be to feature one player from every team, so there are 15 man conference squads. Have each franchise submit their ‘All Star Nominations’ during the Christmas day telecast. One guard, a wing and a big man from each team is announced for potential All Star selection. Closer to the event, maybe on Feb 1st, each franchise also announces their 4 man team of a 3 point shooter, a guard for the skills challenge, a big man for the new look dunk comp* and a rookie contract player for the rising stars game. *More on this in part 2 soon.
Big guys need to be admired for the unique and powerful talents they possess, not lumped in with the wing players.
There’ll be no more of this frontcourt and backcourt All Star voting nonsense, as the modern game simply is not played with two guards and three forwards. Mostly, teams play with one or two ball carrying guards, two ‘Wings’ and one or two ‘Bigs’. There is usually not 3 traditional forwards on the court and doing away with the center position for the current system was utter folly. There is more difference between Kevin Durant and Dwight Howard than there is between him and a Russell Westbrook or Kobe Bryant. Big guys need to be admired for the unique and powerful talents they possess, not lumped in with the wing players.
From the 45 players nominated in each conference, we allow the fans to vote for the All Star teams, similar to how they do now. Except instead of just choosing the starters, and coaches choosing the reserves, we allow a full 15 man squad to be fan selected, with only one player from each team able to earn a spot. It will not simply be the top vote getter from each team earning a spot, as positions need to be considered. The best player, compared to others at his position in his conference, will earn selection.
There will be 12 All Star playing roster spots – 3 guards, 4 wings and 5 bigs. As well as 3 All Star emergency reserves – one from each position. With the number of injuries experienced, very often the reserves will be needed. We also introduce 2 more rules to govern how the performance of a team in the regular season can influence their All Star availability.
1) No team that is bottom 4 in their conference on February 1 can produce an All Star Starter. (also known as the ‘Knicks/Lakers Rule’)
2) No team that is top 4 in their conference on February 1 can have their player relegated to emergency reserve status. If this happens, the top 4 player replaces the lowest ranked player at his position. This will not occur often as the best performing teams often contain the most popular/best players. As you can see below, this rule did not apply in our mock All Star selection for 2015.
Using the votes that have currently been counted for the 2015 All Star Game, this is what each conferences All Star team could look like.
Some fans will say they would rather see a Russell Westbrook or Kyrie Irving play, than someone like Paul Millsap or Michael Carter-Williams. But isn’t the league always striving for parity? Shouldn’t every team be able to market an All Star player to their fan base? Do you really deserve to be there if you’re not even the best/most popular player on your team? And if the weekend is deciding home court advantage in the finals, isn’t it fair to have a single representative from each team in the conference competing for that honour?
And besides, every team will still have 4 other guaranteed players at All Star weekend competing in the ancillary events that will also become more meaningful, so nobody should miss out on their slice of the limelight.
Who isn’t watching this game?!
More importantly, who isn’t watching this game? Every team has players involved. Every player wants to contribute to a win. If the game matters, the TV ratings will be through the roof.
In terms of historic record keeping, All Star Game berths may mean less, but it’s not as if they are held in high esteem currently. But in the future, being a part of a winning All Star squad WILL mean something. No player from the West will want to be part of a team that cedes homecourt to the East. And fans should start voting based on ability and intangible fit more, instead of popularity, which is another current problem with the voting system.
In part two of ‘Making All Star Weekend Matter’ we’ll talk about the other four events on the schedule, how we would revamp the dunk comp into a big man skills challenge, and exactly how the weekend decides NBA finals homecourt advantage.
Get on board – the league needs the Knicks/Lakers rule!
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